I've got an Old Man's Disease!

Just when you think life couldn't get any more comic, it does.

Yesterday morning, I woke up at about 4am with a feeling akin to a cramp in my left foot. Not thinking much about it, I went back to bed. When I got up for work a few hours later, the pain was still there, though I decided to go into the office anyway. I spent the day in my Birkenstocks limping around (looking quite silly as the rest of me was dressed corporate) and ignored my colleagues' advice to go to the doctor. I figured that I must just have pulled a muscle while I was sleeping and thought it would be better the next day.

How wrong I was! When I woke up this morning, I could hardly walk at all. In fact, my foot was so swollen and painful that I couldn't put any weight on it and I knew then that something was seriously wrong. I hopped into the bathroom to get ready and Rachel then helped me hop to the waiting taxi, who whisked me off to my company doctor's emergency clinic.

When I got there, the doctor prodded my foot and then told me that I had gout! I was so shocked as I've always thought that only older men had it, but apparently not. He gave me two injections to help ease the pain and sent me home with more tablets and instructions to rest. I've just woken up from a nap and am still in shock.

Part of it is genetic, as I found out that my uncle also suffers from gout. But the other part is dietary, and I realize that I will have to make a major lifestyle change. There are certain foods that trigger the condition and that includes things like liver (my favourite!), anchovies, and alcohol (oh no!!)! I can no longer boast that I keep slim and gorgeous on a diet of fried chicken wings and vodka cranberries. As both Rachel and B-Dawg gleefully pointed out to me, all that partying has come back and bitten me in the a88! Or should I say, the foot.

Attacks normally last between 3 - 10 days and are controllable, though they definitely can recur. I hope that this is a one off and that I'll be better soon. I really do not want to hobble down the aisle on crutches and instead of playing the wedding march, it'll have to be the wedding hop! Argh!

Saved by the Belles

Although it has been one obstacle after another in regards to the organization of the wedding over the past week, there is finally some light at the end of the tunnel.

Last night, a girlfriend of mine, Li, agreed to step in as the MC so thankfully, I have not be left in the lurch.

Rachel and I have also looked at a few more venues, and we are hoping to confirm one by early next week. The place I like the most is an open concept bar located down by the river and is gorgeous during the evening. It is surrounded by a lot of greenery and soft lighting makes it very romantic at night. Keep your fingers crossed that this is “The One”! Both Rachel and I are getting quite jaded and time is marching on whilst I’m still floundering around without a venue where I can marry the man I love!

On a positive note, my wedding dress arrived from the US two days ago. It’s a lovely off-white Nicole Miller silk number that Rachel said would look good on me and encouraged me to buy. I love it as it’s an absolutely perfect fit and only needs the length taken up. The dress brings out all my hidden curves as well. What makes it even better is that I got it at ¼ of its retail price on ebay! I am truly a bargain hunter extraordinaire, even if I do say so myself. After the wedding, I’ll be able to shorten it and wear it as a cocktail dress as it’s truly a classic piece.

Anyway, it would be fair to say that I’ll be glad when this whole wedding palava is over and I can concentrate on enjoying married life with P!

As the Wedding World Turns…

These are the nightmarish days of a bride-to-be’s life.

The soap opera that is now my life rolls on relentlessly. Not only am I in the midst of looking for an alternative wedding venue, but I also had a major falling out with my MC this past weekend and may have to get a new one if he doesn’t apologize to me soon!

The seed that started our argument was planted a few months back, when my ex-husband Mark visited our small island and came out partying with a group of about 12 – 15 of my friends one night. My MC invited an Australian colleague of his, Sheila, and when she arrived, all of our eyes just about popped out.

Although a very attractive woman in her early 30s, she definitely suffered from a case of “trying too hard”. She wore a very skimpy halter-neck top that covered so little of her assets that you could actually see that they were asymmetrical. Folks, I kid you not, the left one was bigger than the right by quite a bit!

Me being the gossip that I am, I immediately texted my friend Ken across the table. He read my message, looked at her chest and just laughed out loud. A bit rude I admit, but then I’ve never pretended to be otherwise. My friends, P and I were all having a good laugh at Sheila’s expense but then it just got funnier.

Now Mark is not a bad looking man. More like a big brother to me these days, but I can see how other women might find him attractive. Anyway, Sheila was using her big guns to maximum advantage, and each time she talked to him, she would lean across the table and squeeze her assets together. It was so obvious that Mark even told me he had to tell himself, “Look at her face! LOOK AT HER FACE!”

So it was no surprise to anyone that they ended up bleeping that night, although my MC kept denying that they had gone home together. However, other sources told me otherwise.

I found the whole incident hilarious and would still joke about it now and then. The way I see it is this: if Sheila didn’t want people gossiping about her, then she wouldn’t have slept with someone’s ex-husband on the first night of meeting this group of people through a work contact. Although I’ve been a naughty girl in my past, this is something I certainly would not do. I’ve learnt the hard way that you do not mix business with pleasure as it always comes back and bites you in the hiney.

My MC became very protective of Sheila and didn’t like me talking about this incident. I later found out that it was because she already had a boyfriend at the time she hooked up with Mark, and my MC didn’t want her boyfriend finding out about her infidelity. Boy oh boy, the tangled webs we weave…

Of course, that didn’t stop me from talking about it some more ha ha. When I met up with another friend Chilli Padi at my MC’s birthday party this past Saturday night, we laughed about it because Sheila was also there. At some point during the evening, my MC told me that he didn’t want me mention it anymore because I had to respect the fact that Sheila didn’t want anything to ruin her relationship with her boyfriend!

Now all of you who know me well (and most of you do) also know that I do not take kindly to anyone telling me what to do. The only person who can get away with that is the person who pays my salary every month. Even P and my dad don’t tell me what to do as they are not stupid. If you try, it will be the first and last time. I am definitely open to a calm one-on-one chat session, but giving me instructions? I don’t think so.

Anyway, we are at the point where my MC wants to impose his views on me and I refuse to accept them. Sheila and I actually had a very decent conversation on the night of his birthday and we didn’t talk about Mark once. I would never do anything to break up anyone’s professional or personal relationship, but that doesn’t mean I am not going to joke about them behind their backs. There is no malice intended and to me, it was all done in fun.

My MC still doesn’t get that it’s not the fact that Sheila and Mark hooked up that bothers me, but that just because he says so, I am “not allowed” to talk about it anymore. He has to learn that he cannot control his friends’ behaviour and opinions and we are currently taking a time out from the friendship.

This puts me in a very difficult position. I would like to have my MC at the wedding as we have been friends for over nine years, but he also has to realize that he has crossed my accepted boundaries. Although I am now more easy going than I was a few years ago, there are still certain behaviours that I will not tolerate. If he does not apologize, then I will have to find another MC to host the wedding.

One diva (me) at the wedding will be quite enough and I am exploring the option of getting a professional to do the job so that I don’t have to deal with yet another drama. Anybody know anyone?

Love and Restaurants: Mutually Exclusive?

I have a theory about restaurants and occasions related to love like Valentine's Day and weddings. The people who run eating establishments must think that those who are in love have mush not just in their hearts, but in their brains too. How else can you explain the sky high prices they charge people for celebrations held at their venues?

Jaded? It is still seven months to the wedding and I've already run the idea of elopement past P. If it wasn't for the fact that I loved my family and friends so much, I would have said, "Let's get the first flight to Vegas!"

We started looking for wedding venues back in December and thought we'd found the perfect place: a refurbished icon that used to be a government building right by the river. However, after several discussions and "unexpected" additional costs later, we decided together with Rachel (our wedding planner) that for the amount of money we were willing to shell out, the requisite customer service was just not there. The people who ran the building considered themselves venue providers and no more, so everything else had to be done on our own with no support from them whatsoever.

On to the next location. What looked at first glance like a perfect setting for our nuptuals has now caused us quite a lot of frustration. It is a tiny french restaurant set in an old colonial building, with a pre-war wall and delicious food that we could treat our loved ones too. Initially, we were looking to have an intimate party for no more than 45 people. However, some of P's family and my dad's friends have asked if they can celebrate with us. Although it causes some logistical issues, I am actually VERY flattered that they want to share our special day and I am more than happy to say yes.

So, from a five-course dinner, we asked the restaurant owner to come up with a buffet menu. As far as I'm aware, buffets are normally cheaper than sit down dinners as there is less serving staff required. However, today he told us that we will have to pay an additional minimum of US$380 for equipment rental! This is on top of over US$5,000 we would have already spent on food and beverages for less than 50 people. He said that he would have to rent chafing dishes, a bain marie, cocktail tables and so on. Is it me or aren't restaurants supposed to supply things like that?! And if they don't have them, it is certainly a long-term investment they should make and spread the cost out over time and several bookings. For that amount of money, heck, I want to KEEP the cocktail tables!

One thing I do know is that we will not be held ransom to any venue. Our island may be small but we always have choices. And I will come back to the essential truth, which is that it is the marriage that is important to us and not the wedding event itself. I know that P and I will have a great party no matter where we are, as long as our family and friends are with us.

So wish us the best as Rachel and I continue our search for the right venue. I know we will find it, even if it takes some time. Now I know why people start planning their wedding a year in advance. What should be a simple exercise is actually a minefield of wrong turns and unexpected surprises (and I don't mean babies). We know a couple in Hong Kong getting married this time next year. Mr Scotland and Ms Fur, don't say you haven't been warned!

Baby, Baby, Baby!

Got you all there, didn't I? I hate to disappoint but it's not me that is having a baby! As far as I know, hell hasn't frozen over yet.

However, I would like to say congratulations to my friends in Switzerland on the birth of their baby boy. Isn't he a munchkin? He was born last week and here he is having his first bath at home:



It makes me laugh to hear both his parents say how adorable, sqeezable and wonderful he is because they both used to really dislike kids ha ha. Now they are head over heels in love with the baby and I'm very happy for them!

I really wish you guys a long and wonderful life with your little man and many more to join him perhaps?!

Life as an Engaged Woman

Okay, I promise that this will be the last blog entry (at least for now) about my engagement ring. I got my nails done yesterday and couldn't resist taking another photo so now you all can see it in perspective with my entire hand. Nice huh, and the ring ain't bad either ha ha.

Huney saw the ring earlier this week when we met to talk about the wedding invitations she is doing for us (more about that later). She said that the ring was perfect for me because like me, the stone is full of hard edges or something along those lines. There was a compliment in there somewhere I think, or maybe not!

I also told P that the ring truly symbolizes our relationship: It is flawed (as in the stone is not a perfect diamond, though it is to me), however, it is an object of true beauty and we both still love it and would not want to be without it. Oh my god, did I just write that? Where has the real Jan gone? Have I been abducted by aliens who've left a Stepford Sgbabe behind? Someone, pass me a bucket...

We have asked our friends to help us with the wedding preparations and I'm very happy to say that they are all so willing to get involved. I've realized that the wedding is not just about P and me, but about family as well.

Huney has come up with a couple of very good ideas for the invites and we love what she's done so far. Rachel is my witness and main event planner. And my dad's partner Lila is the stylist. She and her sister are in charge of making me look gorgeous on the day. Now, no snide remarks about that being an impossible task please!

I've seen some dresses on ebay (where else) that I like and should get my lazy b*tt down to a few bridal shops to check out more designs. Although I love clothes, I've never been the 'fantasy wedding' type. I don't need a fancy dress or expensive make up to have a great time. All I need is P, and to have our loved ones eating good food, drinking champagne and partying it up! I am aiming for simple elegance, and I know that Lila will help me achieve that.

This being the second time around, we just want to celebrate our joy. I know that I speak for both of us when I say that we are very happy to have found love at a time when neither of us were ever expecting to get married again. We were both leading very similar lives before we met: dating unsuitable youngsters, partying a lot and not caring about anyone besides ourselves. Our story should give all single people hope because if we can find love at the Four Floors, anyone can find love anywhere! It will happen when you're not expecting it, and when you're truly happy with what you have in life.

P's best man, who is flying in from Brrringland for the wedding, is apparently a Tyson Beckford lookalike (I can't verify this as I've never seen a photo of him). I hope that the women don't end up drooling at him instead of at my dress ha ha.

We'll have wedding guests coming from overseas and believe it or not, this includes my ex-husband Mark. He gets on very well with P and my friends, and I consider Mark a trusted friend too. Yes, it is unusual and some people will probably find it strange but hey, this is me, and when have I ever done things the 'normal' way?! Mark and I have worked hard at becoming friends after our marriage ended ten years ago and I am very proud of how far we've both come.

Anyway, I will keep you guys in the loop and you'll definitely be hearing much more about the wedding in the upcoming months! I know I know, groan....