Musings about Marriage

After the initial excitement of receiving my engagement ring, I've had a couple of days to calm down and to enjoy looking at it in all its blingy glory! I've also had time to think a bit about what the ring represents to us as a couple and what getting married to P means to me.

While I try not to wash any of our dirty laundry on the blog, common sense tells you that P and I have had our ups and downs over the last six months. Because of my own family history and insecurities, I have had difficulty accepting that P has a child who will always own a part of his heart. When I get angry at him for whatever reason (and most of you are aware of my infamous temper!), I say horrible things about her with no holds barred. He handles it by not reacting in anger, which would exacerbate the situation, but with infinite patience and kindness.

I even spoke to his parents about my feelings when I was in Melbourne and to my surprise, they were very understanding. I thought it would be best to be honest and for them to know what I was like, warts and all. I would prefer if they disliked the real me, rather then like the false front which I could have presented to them.

I know that this is something I eventually have to accept. At the moment, it is manageable because we do not have any contact with her. However, there is a distinct possibility that she will try to find P once she is older and out from under her evil mother's influence. Hopefully by then, I would have mellowed out (who was it who said that wishing is for free?!!), matured (ha!) and be much better equipped to handle this.

And while I love P very much, he does come with his own set of traits honed by living the first 37 years of his life without any 'guidance' from me. He has an extremely annoying habit of putting off to tomorrow what he could do today. I'm not sure if this is a trait exclusive to him, although I did notice that his family are also procrastinators. Maybe it's genetic?!

I am completely the opposite, being extremely organized and on the ball 99% of the time. I know that I'm the fire under P's a** and sometimes, I have to turn the heat up and shout at him to get something done. I don't enjoy this aspect of his personality (although he insists that I like telling him what to do!) but I've accepted that although it may take him some time, he eventually gets there in the end (with a little help from me of course :-D).

It would be so much easier if P came "made to measure" and behaved in the exact way I desired, but then, what would I have to moan about on the blog?!!

As this is the second marriage for both of us, I do believe we have a better grasp of how to continually work on a healthy relationship that will go the distance. We are both fiery and have our ding dongs (some of them quite loud) but once we calm down, we always discuss things and come to agreements or compromises in the end. I think the core of it is that we are both fully committed to the relationship and really enjoy spending time with each other. Perhaps all of you who have had long and happy relationships can give us a few pointers?!!

Ultimately, I am really looking forward to being married. Although I am very independent and was happy being single, P has brought a different dimension into my life. Even my dad has commented that I've calmed down somewhat since I met P, who is always there to remind me not to be so selfish. I also know that one of my life lessons is to deal with my jealousy of his child as this ties in with my own turbulent childhood and upbringing. He has been extremely supportive and wants only the best for me, and that is a huge comfort. I know that I've already started developing more as a person since I met him, and there will be more growth to come.

Some of you have already commented on how I've progressed since I started writing this blog, from the first entry about seeing keys on someone's Prince Albert piercing in a bar, to eventually getting engaged!

So all in all, I am VERY appreciative of all that I have and here's looking to the future while definitely enjoying the present!

I've got my Engagement Bling!

Oops, I mean ring! After talking about getting married for ages, P finally got round to buying my ring and we are officially engaged as of today!! We chose a gorgeous 2.34 carat asscher cut centre stone flanked by two trapezoid diamonds and smaller baguette cut diamonds on the shank. Here it looks very sparkly because of the flash:


And here it is in natural evening light:


And another shot of it from the side:

I love it as it's gorgeous and unusual. Oh, and I'm of course very excited about getting married too ha ha.

We have looked at what feels like hundred of rings, and I want to say a very BIG thank you to all of my friends on the 'engagement ring committee' who have endured months of me sending them link after link (groan) after link of various designs, cuts, sizes, etc. I know all of them were getting to the point where they were dreading my emails and Huney even said that all the rings were starting to look the same! So to my wonderful friends, thanks for being there for me always and for indulging all my whims.

P and I plan on getting married later on this year with just a small celebration of very close friends and family. We have lots to do in the mean time so I'll leave it here for now and get cracking!

Eek, I'm in my late 30's!

The inevitable has happened, I celebrated my 37th birthday yesterday and now (unwillingly) join the ranks of those in their 'late 30's'!! I know this is the lament only of the older generation but where has time gone?!! It still feels like yesterday when I graduated from university but I realize now that it has been 16 years. Oh my god! If I wasn't nursing a bad hangover, I would have a drink right now to deal with the shock.

My friends kindly organized a dinner to help me through this 'difficult time' and we ate at a lovely Italian restaurant. My dad joined us and it was a great evening. As there were so many yummy looking dishes on the menu, my dad agreed to order the squid ink pasta with cod fish and he shared a bit of it with me. Everyone ended up laughing at us because our teeth, tongue and lips were entirely coated in black ink ha ha. But it was worth it as the pasta was perfectly al dente and the sauce full of flavour!

Afterwards, we went for a few drinks and dancing although my dad didn't join us as he was going cycling at 7 this morning. I had a wonderful time with my friends, although I did miss P's presence. But he will be coming to Singapore in mid-May for two weeks and we'll be going diving then. So lots of good things to look forward to.

Have a great week everyone!

All About the Family

I'm finally back home after 10 glorious days in Oz. Do I want to be here? As I had to leave P behind, the answer is a resounding NO. But life goes on and the real world ie work beckons. It will be odd not having him come meet me for lunch or pick me up after work every evening as he did for the last five months. But the blissful time where P was still on holiday couldn't last forever.

He will do casual work while he looks for a permanent job somewhere in the vast land Down Under. On one hand, we are impatient for the next phase of our life together to begin, but on the other hand, this is a very exciting time. Not just for us, but also for P's family.

Two years ago, they upped sticks and left Brrrrrrr-ingland in search of a more suitable lifestyle for the kids. The education in Oz is so much better and the great outdoors is amazing. They ended up in Melbourne where his mum and sister work as nurses. It has taken them some time to adapt to a new country, but they love their life in Oz.

P is now with them and it's been really good for the whole family to spend quality time together. His nieces Little Darling (LD) and Medium Darling (MD) absolutely adore him.

As I flew in very late when I first arrived, I didn't get a chance to meet the girls as they were already in bed. The following morning at around 7.30am, we heard a little tap, tap, tap on the bedroom door. P said, "Come in!" and LD came into the room, stood next to the bed and just looked at me with her big blue eyes and a sweet little smile on her lips. I was still half asleep and definitely bleary-eyed but she just couldn't wait to meet me!

I met MD after I got out of bed and she is also a lovely girl, very good at sports and a bit of a dreamer.

It was necessary to distinguish all the 'darlings' in the house because it got a bit confusing. I call P darling as well and one day I said to him, "Darling, come here," and before he could respond, LD was in front of me with her arms held up to be carried and said, "I'm here!".

I love P's entire family and really enjoyed watching him with them. For the last few months, P has been hanging out with me, my family and friends in my country. This trip was a chance for me to see him in another context and I definitely liked what I saw. His family are great and I really felt at home with them. His parents and sister are very down to earth, with wicked senses of humour and no airs and graces at all.

I will see them in later on the year when I go over to visit again. For now, it's back to the grindstone and dreams of bright sunshine, the lovely ocean and Kangaroo steaks...

The Great Ocean Road

We are finally back in Melbourne after three days on the Great Ocean Road. I found a gorgeous B&B at the Aireys Inlet where the Split Point Lighthouse is. Words cannot describe how beautiful the view was from our bedroom, so I will let the following photographs speak for themselves.

Aireys by the Light is a three-bedroom B&B run by Elizabeth and Peter, a lovely couple who made us feel so welcomed. We sat on the balcony in the evenings watching the waves crash on the beach, wind blowing in our hair. Absolutely amazing. At night, we'd read in bed with the balcony door open listening to the sea.

We went for a walk along the cliff and turning back, we could see the lighthouse in the distance.

Yesterday, we drove two hours to see the 12 Apostles, another amazing sight.

I have always loved Australia and this trip was no different. P and I spent some serious quality time together, talking about things we've done in our past (and how we would've done them differently in hindsight) and the future life we would like to have together.

I only have a few days left here before I go back to my own small island so I'll be making the best of the time. P will visit me in a couple of months and I'll be back here later on in the year.

Tomorrow, my friend the Consultant will be coming for dinner with her partner. I'll be cooking Chinese food for the guests and P's family! Me cooking, that is another rare occurance ha ha. It's amazing what love does to a person...

I'm Here in the Land..

Down Under!

For my birthday this month, P bought me a flight ticket to Melbourne so here I am visiting his family. His parents, sister and two nieces are all very nice and for someone who is not that crazy about kids, the two littles ones (aged 4 and 8) have been particularly lovely to me. I've got lots of hugs and countless kisses ha ha. Who would have thought eh?!

We are halfway through a one-week holiday and have been to the beach, sat at numerous cafes and met up with my friend the Consultant and seen her beautiful house in East Brighton. Later today, we are off to a gorgeous B&B at the Lighthouse along the Great Ocean Road. Photos will follow after the trip.

I fly back to the small island on Sunday but P will stay on and look for work here. More updates to come so watch this space!