Musings about Marriage
After the initial excitement of receiving my engagement ring, I've had a couple of days to calm down and to enjoy looking at it in all its blingy glory! I've also had time to think a bit about what the ring represents to us as a couple and what getting married to P means to me.
While I try not to wash any of our dirty laundry on the blog, common sense tells you that P and I have had our ups and downs over the last six months. Because of my own family history and insecurities, I have had difficulty accepting that P has a child who will always own a part of his heart. When I get angry at him for whatever reason (and most of you are aware of my infamous temper!), I say horrible things about her with no holds barred. He handles it by not reacting in anger, which would exacerbate the situation, but with infinite patience and kindness.
I even spoke to his parents about my feelings when I was in Melbourne and to my surprise, they were very understanding. I thought it would be best to be honest and for them to know what I was like, warts and all. I would prefer if they disliked the real me, rather then like the false front which I could have presented to them.
I know that this is something I eventually have to accept. At the moment, it is manageable because we do not have any contact with her. However, there is a distinct possibility that she will try to find P once she is older and out from under her evil mother's influence. Hopefully by then, I would have mellowed out (who was it who said that wishing is for free?!!), matured (ha!) and be much better equipped to handle this.
And while I love P very much, he does come with his own set of traits honed by living the first 37 years of his life without any 'guidance' from me. He has an extremely annoying habit of putting off to tomorrow what he could do today. I'm not sure if this is a trait exclusive to him, although I did notice that his family are also procrastinators. Maybe it's genetic?!
I am completely the opposite, being extremely organized and on the ball 99% of the time. I know that I'm the fire under P's a** and sometimes, I have to turn the heat up and shout at him to get something done. I don't enjoy this aspect of his personality (although he insists that I like telling him what to do!) but I've accepted that although it may take him some time, he eventually gets there in the end (with a little help from me of course :-D).
It would be so much easier if P came "made to measure" and behaved in the exact way I desired, but then, what would I have to moan about on the blog?!!
As this is the second marriage for both of us, I do believe we have a better grasp of how to continually work on a healthy relationship that will go the distance. We are both fiery and have our ding dongs (some of them quite loud) but once we calm down, we always discuss things and come to agreements or compromises in the end. I think the core of it is that we are both fully committed to the relationship and really enjoy spending time with each other. Perhaps all of you who have had long and happy relationships can give us a few pointers?!!
Ultimately, I am really looking forward to being married. Although I am very independent and was happy being single, P has brought a different dimension into my life. Even my dad has commented that I've calmed down somewhat since I met P, who is always there to remind me not to be so selfish. I also know that one of my life lessons is to deal with my jealousy of his child as this ties in with my own turbulent childhood and upbringing. He has been extremely supportive and wants only the best for me, and that is a huge comfort. I know that I've already started developing more as a person since I met him, and there will be more growth to come.
Some of you have already commented on how I've progressed since I started writing this blog, from the first entry about seeing keys on someone's Prince Albert piercing in a bar, to eventually getting engaged!
So all in all, I am VERY appreciative of all that I have and here's looking to the future while definitely enjoying the present!
While I try not to wash any of our dirty laundry on the blog, common sense tells you that P and I have had our ups and downs over the last six months. Because of my own family history and insecurities, I have had difficulty accepting that P has a child who will always own a part of his heart. When I get angry at him for whatever reason (and most of you are aware of my infamous temper!), I say horrible things about her with no holds barred. He handles it by not reacting in anger, which would exacerbate the situation, but with infinite patience and kindness.
I even spoke to his parents about my feelings when I was in Melbourne and to my surprise, they were very understanding. I thought it would be best to be honest and for them to know what I was like, warts and all. I would prefer if they disliked the real me, rather then like the false front which I could have presented to them.
I know that this is something I eventually have to accept. At the moment, it is manageable because we do not have any contact with her. However, there is a distinct possibility that she will try to find P once she is older and out from under her evil mother's influence. Hopefully by then, I would have mellowed out (who was it who said that wishing is for free?!!), matured (ha!) and be much better equipped to handle this.
And while I love P very much, he does come with his own set of traits honed by living the first 37 years of his life without any 'guidance' from me. He has an extremely annoying habit of putting off to tomorrow what he could do today. I'm not sure if this is a trait exclusive to him, although I did notice that his family are also procrastinators. Maybe it's genetic?!
I am completely the opposite, being extremely organized and on the ball 99% of the time. I know that I'm the fire under P's a** and sometimes, I have to turn the heat up and shout at him to get something done. I don't enjoy this aspect of his personality (although he insists that I like telling him what to do!) but I've accepted that although it may take him some time, he eventually gets there in the end (with a little help from me of course :-D).
It would be so much easier if P came "made to measure" and behaved in the exact way I desired, but then, what would I have to moan about on the blog?!!
As this is the second marriage for both of us, I do believe we have a better grasp of how to continually work on a healthy relationship that will go the distance. We are both fiery and have our ding dongs (some of them quite loud) but once we calm down, we always discuss things and come to agreements or compromises in the end. I think the core of it is that we are both fully committed to the relationship and really enjoy spending time with each other. Perhaps all of you who have had long and happy relationships can give us a few pointers?!!
Ultimately, I am really looking forward to being married. Although I am very independent and was happy being single, P has brought a different dimension into my life. Even my dad has commented that I've calmed down somewhat since I met P, who is always there to remind me not to be so selfish. I also know that one of my life lessons is to deal with my jealousy of his child as this ties in with my own turbulent childhood and upbringing. He has been extremely supportive and wants only the best for me, and that is a huge comfort. I know that I've already started developing more as a person since I met him, and there will be more growth to come.
Some of you have already commented on how I've progressed since I started writing this blog, from the first entry about seeing keys on someone's Prince Albert piercing in a bar, to eventually getting engaged!
So all in all, I am VERY appreciative of all that I have and here's looking to the future while definitely enjoying the present!
posted by SG Babe | 8:13 PM
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