What a Difference a Day Makes
In the last entry, I wrote about my favourite Aunt Angela. In this entry, I have to write about my favourite Aunt Angela "who isn't very happy with me right now"!
What brought all this about? Well, I promised her that I wouldn't write about it on the blog and I will keep my word. Besides which, the issue that we caused us to disagree is not the point anyway. The thing is, my parents' generation always wants to tell us how to think and behave. If we don't agree with them, that's when problems crop up.
I have spent a lot of time questioning the dynamics within my family and these are the thoughts that come to mind.
My dad has often said that he loves me, but I realize that this is a conditional type of love. He only speaks to me when I say what he wants to hear and if for any reason I don't, he goes off in a huff! Kind of like me in a way, but hey, I'm not the parent! Their generation is so different from how we are now. I can't speak for other cultures, but for the Chinese, the elders' word is law and being filial equates doing what they wish and not talking back to them. I'm sure you guys can all see me doing that right?! Nooooooot!
I have spent nine years away from this small island, and you can't help but be influenced by your environment. During the formative ages of 16 to 21, I went to university in the City by the Bay. I had a lot of friends from all over the world and started to see life in a different light. I love being Asian, but I don't agree with everything in my culture. Blind obedience is one of them.
I absolutely detest people telling me what to do and this is the point of contention between my aunt and myself. She has told me before not to write negative things on the blog (this is not what we argued about today) but as I said to her, "Once only good things happen to me, then I will only write about good things." Life is both about the positive and negative, and you can't have one without the other. My solution is to take her off the blog's mailing list as my writing seems to cause her a lot of distress and that is definitely not what I want. In the same vein, there are some TV programmes that cause me sleepless nights so I don't watch them! Very simple really.
Many of you have told me how much you enjoy reading the blog and how funny it is. I'm sure part of why you guys think so is because I am completely honest and say exactly what I think and feel. Yes, I do have a bit of a sharp tongue at times, but I think it adds character to my personality, even if I do say so myself, ahem! ;-)
I know that my family is messed up, and I include myself in this category. I have never put it on the blog before, but P's nickname for me is "Nutty Bird" ha ha. I laugh because I know it to be true and I'm not afraid to admit to my failings and weaknesses. I am INCREDIBLY lucky to have found this man (even if it was in a wh*re house) who loves me as I am! And I thank god every day that he's in my life. He has since started his new job as the IT Manager for a multi-national financial group and that has taken some of the stress off us.
Today, I asked him if he still wanted to marry me, that it's not late for him to make his escape! He has been kept in the loop with regards to what my aunt and I argued about, and he's also well aware of the tenuous relationship I've always had with my family. I wanted to make sure that he knows what he's getting himself into and that I do come from a damaged family. He assured me that he knows FULL well how crazy we all are and that he loves me anyway. Thank goodness for that then!
When I was younger, I often wished that I didn't have the parents I did and that I had been adopted by a really nice family in Europe! Maybe I would have grown up to be a well-balanced adult and not be as abrasive as I am? Who knows? Anyway, it's too late for that now and I am just doing my best in the life that I do have.
At some point, I hope that my aunt can accept that I have my own opinions and that it is always going to be that way. Failing that, I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree!
What brought all this about? Well, I promised her that I wouldn't write about it on the blog and I will keep my word. Besides which, the issue that we caused us to disagree is not the point anyway. The thing is, my parents' generation always wants to tell us how to think and behave. If we don't agree with them, that's when problems crop up.
I have spent a lot of time questioning the dynamics within my family and these are the thoughts that come to mind.
My dad has often said that he loves me, but I realize that this is a conditional type of love. He only speaks to me when I say what he wants to hear and if for any reason I don't, he goes off in a huff! Kind of like me in a way, but hey, I'm not the parent! Their generation is so different from how we are now. I can't speak for other cultures, but for the Chinese, the elders' word is law and being filial equates doing what they wish and not talking back to them. I'm sure you guys can all see me doing that right?! Nooooooot!
I have spent nine years away from this small island, and you can't help but be influenced by your environment. During the formative ages of 16 to 21, I went to university in the City by the Bay. I had a lot of friends from all over the world and started to see life in a different light. I love being Asian, but I don't agree with everything in my culture. Blind obedience is one of them.
I absolutely detest people telling me what to do and this is the point of contention between my aunt and myself. She has told me before not to write negative things on the blog (this is not what we argued about today) but as I said to her, "Once only good things happen to me, then I will only write about good things." Life is both about the positive and negative, and you can't have one without the other. My solution is to take her off the blog's mailing list as my writing seems to cause her a lot of distress and that is definitely not what I want. In the same vein, there are some TV programmes that cause me sleepless nights so I don't watch them! Very simple really.
Many of you have told me how much you enjoy reading the blog and how funny it is. I'm sure part of why you guys think so is because I am completely honest and say exactly what I think and feel. Yes, I do have a bit of a sharp tongue at times, but I think it adds character to my personality, even if I do say so myself, ahem! ;-)
I know that my family is messed up, and I include myself in this category. I have never put it on the blog before, but P's nickname for me is "Nutty Bird" ha ha. I laugh because I know it to be true and I'm not afraid to admit to my failings and weaknesses. I am INCREDIBLY lucky to have found this man (even if it was in a wh*re house) who loves me as I am! And I thank god every day that he's in my life. He has since started his new job as the IT Manager for a multi-national financial group and that has taken some of the stress off us.
Today, I asked him if he still wanted to marry me, that it's not late for him to make his escape! He has been kept in the loop with regards to what my aunt and I argued about, and he's also well aware of the tenuous relationship I've always had with my family. I wanted to make sure that he knows what he's getting himself into and that I do come from a damaged family. He assured me that he knows FULL well how crazy we all are and that he loves me anyway. Thank goodness for that then!
When I was younger, I often wished that I didn't have the parents I did and that I had been adopted by a really nice family in Europe! Maybe I would have grown up to be a well-balanced adult and not be as abrasive as I am? Who knows? Anyway, it's too late for that now and I am just doing my best in the life that I do have.
At some point, I hope that my aunt can accept that I have my own opinions and that it is always going to be that way. Failing that, I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree!
posted by SG Babe | 7:19 PM
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