Independent Women - The Price of "Freedom"
I was talking to a friend the other day, and she was sharing her laments about work. She left a great non-profit organization for a position that pays 25% more (excluding bonuses). But everything in life comes at a price and she is just not happy in her new job.
Power plays and struggles are orders of the day and regardless of how hard she tries to keep a low profile, it is virtually impossible not to be dragged into the office politics. The only way to stay out of trouble would be for her not to speak to anyone!
It sounds like a really miserable situation to me, and it got me thinking about the priorities in our lives that dictate the choices we make. My friend feels unable to leave the job because of her financial commitments. She has a fabulous apartment in the centre of town, which she has become a slave to. Though she is surrounded by modern luxury at home, she dreads going into work everyday.
She is completely ill at ease because of the tension that permeates every corner of the office. None of her colleagues feel secure in their jobs and that taints every aspect of their interactions with others. Although she tries not to let it affect her, it’s quite difficult as she constantly has to watch her back and walk on eggshells.
The way I see it is that she has one of two options. One, she can stay and suck it up. Two, she can find a job in a less stressful environment, which will also probably mean less money. Ultimately, she has to ask herself what is more important to her.
If it is her financial independence, then looking for another position that pays the equivalent will probably bring the same sort of stresses, albeit in another corporate environment.
If it is her peace of mind, then she has to make some sacrifices in the way she spends money. Or else she could take on part-time work in the evenings and at the weekends, and/or rent out her spare room.
There are advantages and disadvantages to both choices and many of us single women today have been in similar situations. Instead of having a man provide for us like our mothers or grandmothers before us, most women these days have to take care of ourselves.
I sometimes look at women who don’t have to work because their partner provides for them and I think for a second, “Ooooooo, that would be nice!” Not having to go to battle at the office every day and yet be able to buy all the gorgeous handbags and shoes in the world!
But I know myself. As I’m now “older and wiser”, I value my independence too much to give up my power and put myself in that situation. And as is the case for most of these women, the luxury lifestyle only lasts as long as the men they are with remain interested in them. It must be horrible to be beholden to someone and not being able to say what you think and do what you like because it might p*ss them off. Then your lifestyle would be taken away based solely on the whim of another person.
Inversely, if the man did something you didn't like, e.g. be unfaithful, what could you really do about it? He would just turn around and tell you to leave if you didn't like his behaviour. That would be so humiliating and I would never do that to myself.
After talking more to my friend, we’ve decided that though our lifestyles do bring their share of challenges, at least we are the masters of our own decisions. Even after P and I get married, I will work for as long as possible. That way I maintain the respect he has for me and I always have the freedom of choice.
Power plays and struggles are orders of the day and regardless of how hard she tries to keep a low profile, it is virtually impossible not to be dragged into the office politics. The only way to stay out of trouble would be for her not to speak to anyone!
It sounds like a really miserable situation to me, and it got me thinking about the priorities in our lives that dictate the choices we make. My friend feels unable to leave the job because of her financial commitments. She has a fabulous apartment in the centre of town, which she has become a slave to. Though she is surrounded by modern luxury at home, she dreads going into work everyday.
She is completely ill at ease because of the tension that permeates every corner of the office. None of her colleagues feel secure in their jobs and that taints every aspect of their interactions with others. Although she tries not to let it affect her, it’s quite difficult as she constantly has to watch her back and walk on eggshells.
The way I see it is that she has one of two options. One, she can stay and suck it up. Two, she can find a job in a less stressful environment, which will also probably mean less money. Ultimately, she has to ask herself what is more important to her.
If it is her financial independence, then looking for another position that pays the equivalent will probably bring the same sort of stresses, albeit in another corporate environment.
If it is her peace of mind, then she has to make some sacrifices in the way she spends money. Or else she could take on part-time work in the evenings and at the weekends, and/or rent out her spare room.
There are advantages and disadvantages to both choices and many of us single women today have been in similar situations. Instead of having a man provide for us like our mothers or grandmothers before us, most women these days have to take care of ourselves.
I sometimes look at women who don’t have to work because their partner provides for them and I think for a second, “Ooooooo, that would be nice!” Not having to go to battle at the office every day and yet be able to buy all the gorgeous handbags and shoes in the world!
But I know myself. As I’m now “older and wiser”, I value my independence too much to give up my power and put myself in that situation. And as is the case for most of these women, the luxury lifestyle only lasts as long as the men they are with remain interested in them. It must be horrible to be beholden to someone and not being able to say what you think and do what you like because it might p*ss them off. Then your lifestyle would be taken away based solely on the whim of another person.
Inversely, if the man did something you didn't like, e.g. be unfaithful, what could you really do about it? He would just turn around and tell you to leave if you didn't like his behaviour. That would be so humiliating and I would never do that to myself.
After talking more to my friend, we’ve decided that though our lifestyles do bring their share of challenges, at least we are the masters of our own decisions. Even after P and I get married, I will work for as long as possible. That way I maintain the respect he has for me and I always have the freedom of choice.
posted by SG Babe | 3:06 PM
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